Sex and the City Season 6 Episode 18

618. Splat!

When you live in New York City,
it can take all your energy to stay in Vogue.
So when Enid Figg, my old boss at Vogue wanted to meet me for lunch,
I was eager to hear what she had for me.

Carrie, I need to ask you a favor.
Apparntly, this would be about what I had for her.
I wanted to invite you to a party that I'm throwing, a week from Saturday.
It's for an amazing couple Roma Patelle and Andre Dubiankie.
They make documentary films.

Oh. Well, unless I'm doing the catering, it sounds like a fun favor.
There'll be a lot of couples from the art world and...
I thought maybe you could bring your Alexander Patrovski.

- Done. Is that it? - No. I was hoping you might..

I can't believe I have to ask this.
Does he have a single friend that you could bring along for me?

A date?
Well the thing is it's shaping up to be mostly couples and...
I'm not a couple and there are no exciting prospects
so I thought that someone from his crowd might be right for me.

Please never mention this conversation to anyone ???

Excuse me. Do you know what you want?
- Yes. I'll have the Dorado. - The Dorado. This is a much larger fish.
This fish we recommend for two people.
See? You have to be a couple just to order lunch in this town.

- I'll have the dorado as well. - Do you even like Dorado?
Because if this is a pity Dorado, I can have crab cakes.
- We'll have the Dorado. - Very good.

The only thing is I'm not sure if Alexander is a let's set people up kind of guy.

Carrie, I got you a job.
You get me a man.

Later that evening, the couple I was in had a couple of hours
to prepare a dinner party for a couple of couples.

Do your friends enjoy red wine?
My friends enjoy all wine.

Yes, we'll have the Barolo.

Hey. Do you have any single male friends?
Are you tired of me already?

It's for this friend of mine.

I have a friend.
- He's a food critic. - Perfect.
Is this really how one finds love?
No. It's just what we do to distract ourselves until the real thing comes along.
Now. I have a question for you.
Oh sorry. All my friends are taken.
Wow. I've never said that before.

You know I'll be in Paris for some time with my exhibition.
I'm going next week and I'm not sure when I'll come back.
Unfortunately, having a man leave me for Paris was not foreign to me.
I'm hoping you'll come.

Sure, I'll come for the opening and maybe another weekend also?
No, you misunderstand.
I'm hoping you'll come and be with me.

In Paris?

For who knows when we'll come back?
Yes. I need you there.

But this was foreign to me.
Oh, the caviar.

For most women, the goal of the dinner party is
to have your friends feel comfortable around your boyfriend.
I think my maid is using my vibrator.
Other times, you wish your friends were not quite so comfortable.
I don't think you're suppose to say maid anymore.
I don't think we're supposed to say vibrator over dinner.
I'm telling you. I went into the kitchen to get it.
Wait. Why was it in the kitchen?
I like to mix it up.
But yesterday, the batteries were dead.
They were new the last time I used it
and I haven't used it since Smith came back.
Oh baby, that's sweet.
Now maybe in the Dominican Republic people like to share vibrators
but this is America, land of plenty.
I think you could have a potential lawsuit on your hands.
- What? Breaking and vibrating? - As long as it's not entering.

- Beautiful piano. You play? - Yeah I do.

You know any Billy Joel?
- I'm not familiar. - Uptown girl, Always a woman.
Piano man.

Tell us about your sculpture exhibition in Paris.
- They are not technically sculpture. - Oh. Sorry.
They are large-scale light instillations integrated with video imaging.
That's fine.

I don't like Paris. Too much attitude.
- And what's with the toilet paper? - Paris is the best city in the world.
Easy fellow, you're talking to New Yorkers here.
New York is wonderful but there is nowhere like Paris.

You'll see Carrie.
- Are you going? For the opening? - Yes she's coming with me. To live.

Well, we hadn't actually discussed the details but...
yes, I have been invited to go to Paris.

Later, my friends wanted a tour of the apartment.
A.k.a, time to ask me what the hell was going on.
- You would go live with him? - I don't know.
When were you planning to tell us?
He just sprang this on me two hours ago.
- How long would you go? - Where would you live?
- Is there a guest room? - Are you really thinking of going?
I'm not sure. I haven't digested it yet.
- I'm still digesting dinner. - This is so exciting.
I know. My boyfriend has just asked me to go to Paris with him.
This is the most romantic thing that has ever happened to me.

What do you think they're doing down there?
Not having a Billy Joel sing-a-long, that's for sure.

Ladies, time's up.
I can't pretend to be one of the boys any longer.

So. I spoke to my girlfriends and they have a few questions about Paris.

But you are the one who's going.
Well we don't know about that yet.
I mean...
how could this work? Would I get my own place?
- Why do you get your own place? - I don't know.
I've never done this before.
You'll live with me. I have a beautiful apartment at the left bank.
But it's been remodeled.
So we would stay at the plaza ?
Okay but are we talking a year? Indefinitely?
Don't I need to learn French? Would I be able to work there?
What about my cell phone? Would it work there?
So many questions. Which is yours?

I can't remember. I think I drank too much Barolo at dinner.

Okay. Here's one of mine.

What about my apartment here? Would I sublet it?
- I would pay for your apartment. - That's crazy. I can't let you do that.
Why? I have plenty of money.
But I don't have plenty of Carrie Bradshaws.

And I've always wanted to learn French and drink wine before noon so basically
it's my fantasy complete with Parisian parties and museum openings.
But for how long?
As long as it's fun. Indefinitely.
So you'd be moving there?
No. Cause I'd still have my apartment here.
- Which he'd be paying for. - He can certainly afford it.
- Do you think you might get married? - No. That's..
I don't think that's the point.
- Then what is he promising you? - The world.
But what about your job? Your column is all about New York.
You're all about New York. How would youˇ
I don't know.
How can you people still have questions? I got all of your questions answered.
And they were good answers by the way.
So this is the time when everybody should be really excited for me.
- We are excited. It's fabulous. - No. Forget it. Forget it.
- No, I think it's really romantic. - Then stop killing it with questions.
We just wanna make sure you think this through.
I am thinking it through.
But it's a nice offer and it would be nice
if my friends could be happy for me.

Especially when I've always been happy for them.
Carrie, we are happy for you.

Anyone wanna talk about cancer?

They say the unexamined life it not worth living.
But what if the examining becomes your life?
Is that living or just procrastinating?
And what if all those helpful lunches and late night phone calls to friends
have made us all girl talk and no girl action?
Is it time to stop questioning?

Certain questions should never be asked by anyone.
Especially a husband.
Think someone's getting a little chunky?


I'm talking about the dog.

Elizabeth Taylor had gained 4 pounds
which for a dog who used to weigh 8 pounds seemed excessive.

Hi. Can you tell me where the diet dog food is?
Oh I can't believe her. She's beautiful. May I?
Yes she is beautiful. But she's getting a little fat.
Oh. She's not fat.
You're right. That is an ugly word. She is full figured.
No. She's pregnant.

Honey. I got your message. So the dog's knocked up?
Yes. She's pregnant because everyone around me gets pregnant just not me.
It's not like she planned it. She's a dog.
Exactly. She's not even thinking about it and bam! On her first try.
Well it might have been her first time but it was with at least 8 dogs.
8 mutts. And we are gonna have to raise her whole trampy unpedigreed family.

Elizabeth, mommy can't look at you right now.

Miranda just doesn't like him.
- This is all about Billy Joel. - It's not about Billy Joel.
It's about you.
We're not going to encourage you to cross an ocean.
We're selfish bitches. We like you in New York.
Well I like me in New York, too. But I really like him.
- He's great, isn't he? - Yes. A bit arrogant.
- But he's got the goods to back it up. - And he can be really sweet.
- Then he's got it all. - Then why does Miranda not like him?
She doesn't not like him. She doesn't know him.
She didn't try to get to know him. She didn't ask him one question all night
- and she is all about the questions. - Well, here's a question.
Why do you care?
Have you ever heard me once ask what anybody thinks about my boyfriend?
I've never heard you use the term boyfriend.
My point is it doesn't matter.
Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors.

- You know the most annoying thing? - What's annoying?
Miranda has a point. What about work and everything.
Maybe I can't leave New York.
I don't know how I'd do some place else.
Believe me, your fabulousness will translate.
And nobody says he gets to dictate the terms.
Figure out how to do it so you're comfortable.
Maybe half the time you're there, half the time I'm there.
Well now you're being too supportive.

Voulez vous a la discotheque?
Voulez vous a la ???
voulez vous allez au restaurant?
Later I still had questions filling my head.
But at least they were in French. Voulez vous a Paris?

- Are you coming? - Yeah I just have to put my earrings on.
No, to Paris.

Oh. Well.

I haven't decided yet.
I'm inviting you to go to France, not to jail.

- I just have.. - More questions? Is it possible?

Things to figure out.

My whole life is here.

Could we stay in New York and then...
just go to Paris for few months for your show?
Then it wouldn't feel like we're moving.
I need to be in Paris now.
I've been here for three years. I'm finished with New York.
It's time for Paris.

But.. I'm not finished with New York.

Maybe we could... do long distance for a while?
Going back and forth?
It's never worked for me.
You know, someone meets someone, someone gets bored.
I don't know. Voulez-vous an ultimatum?

Normally a couple doesn't go from an ultimatum to a party.
But we were in charge of bringing something very important.
Carrie, so glad you came.

- Enid, this is. - Alexander Patrovski. I'm thrilled.
- Pleasure to meet you. - And this is Martin Grable.
Hi. Looks like it's gonna start snowing out there.
They say it's going to be reminiscing of the '74 nor'easter.


Martin is a food critic for Bon a Petite.
The coat check is right around the corner.

- He's very sweet and smart. - He's a hobbit.

Carrie Bradshaw.
Where the fuck have you been hiding.
Lexi Featherington has been one of New York's legendary party girls
who always ended up on page 6 because of her bar hopping and her bed hopping.
I'm gonna go up to the roof and have a smoke. I'll be back in five.

He's just so pretentious.
- Are you still talking about him? - It's not him.
I've been thinking about this and it's how she is around him.
She's different and not in a good way.
- She didn't laugh all night. Not once. - Miranda,
no offense but you never think anyone's good enough for you and your friends.
- You didn't' think I was good enough. - That's not true.
Yes it is. And it's fine. I know you come around.

Large scale light instillations. What the fuck is that?
- He's kind of full of himself. - Thank you.
Let's not wake the kid, huh?

Miranda, if she moves, it'll be okay.
You'll talk, you'll visit.

I bet she won't go.

She can't leave New York. She's got too much here.

Yeah, the best fraud milk white cheddar
I ever had was from a farm and guess where?
I ˇ
New York. We now rival England for the best cheddar in the world.
An hour later, I had somehow ended up on Enid's date.
Actually, raw milk couldn't even be used in the States till recently
because it isn't pasteurized.
It basically goes from the cow right to you.

And Enid had somehow ended up on mine. - That's priceless.
I never liked ? either.

Martin, can you excuse me just for a minute? Thank you.

You know, I have to tell you,
I've been a fan of your work for longer than I'd like to admit.
I've been doing my work for longer than I'd like to admit.

- Hi. - Hi. Oh Carrie, I love this man.
- Yes, I see that. - Would anybody like a drink?

Are you always this attentive? I'd love a vodka martini. Carrie?
- Oh no. I'm fine. Thanks. - One vodka martini coming up.

Carrie, why aren't I with him?

Because I am?

- What are you doing? - What?

All right. I'm sorry. It's not fair.

He's my age and you've got him and I am in no-mance land.
Literally. No man anywhere.
Man can date anyone any age, but let's be frank.
Most of them prefer the bimbos so...
if you're a successful 50 something woman,
there's a very small pool. It's very small. It's a waiting pool really.
So why are you swimming in my waiting pool?
It was another question I wasn't prepared to answer.
- I need to go to the bathroom. - Yeah, it's down the hall.

Outside, the snow was starting to come down.
And inside, it was going up. - Oh hey. You want some?
- No thanks. - Close the door, close the door.

- Do people still do coke? - No. Unfortunately.
Oh god, Carrie. I'm 40 years old. Can you fucking believe it?
Don't answer that.
Remember we used to go to Tunnel, we were like 5.
- Need to use the John? - No, I was trying to get away from Enid.
I don't know why I pulled strings to get an invite to this piece of shit party.
I'm so glad to see you though. We're the only two single girls here.

- Well, actually, I'm with someone. - Fuck you.

And speaking of little piece of shit parties,
- Babe. - No Harry, I cannot come to bed right now .
because someone left me a little present.
Because someone is too pregnant to hold it in.
Yeah well someone isn't holding it in anymore.
In fact, someone is giving birth in the bathroom.

- Right now? - Honey, it's time.
Elizabeth Taylor, mommy's coming.

That night, Charlotte embraced her maternal instinct.

And three puppies.

And I, embraced my boyfriend for as long as I still had him.
So now, Rama and I split our time between Los Angeles and Calcutta.
- He splits his time. - Rama hates Los Angeles.
Frozen yogurt is not culture.
So she stays in our home in Calcutta while I headed our movies in Los Angeles.
But I get final Calcutta.

Nice to meet with you. You too.
So. They aren't together all the time. They seem happy.
Carrie, I don't want that. I want you wake up, you see me.
I see you. We go to dinner. We sit in cafes. Life.

I want you everyday too but I have a life here.
Yes. But what do you want to come home to?

What do you want your life to be?

- Carrie, you have a lighter? - No, Oh sorry I don't smoke anymore.
Oh fuck you.

Anyway, I'm just a huge fan of the pomegranate.
Do either you have a light?

There's no smoking in here. Please go outside.
There is no outside. It's fucking snowing.

- Ooh, a candle. - She was rather rude.
Don't even know how she got in here.

Hey. How do you open this fucking thing?

Excuse me. Miss. Could you keep it down?
You keep it down.
Fucking Jerry Atricks.
Now, our hostess has already said there's no smoking.
When did everybody stop smoking?

When did everybody pair off?
This is used to be the most exciting city in the world.
And now it's nothing but smoking near a fucking open window.

New York is over.
O-V-E-R. Over.
No one's fun anymore. What ever happened to fun?
I'm so bored I could die.

It was the first time Lexi had ever left a party early.

An hour later, the snow really started to fall.

The first time that winter.

And it didn't stop.

The city was silent.

There were no more questions.

Only white noise.

Daily News The Party's Over

I want to go to Paris.

It was a day made for first snows. - Look Brady. Snow angels.

And staying home with family.

See that? It's called snow.

Two days later, we said goodbye to our snow angel.

Wait, she tripped on her Manolo?
Stannie, the girl died. It's sad. The end.
I'll say it's sad.
The scandal of the New York social scene and I missed it.
I need details. Last words.
- 'I'm so bored I could die.' - No.

- Hey. Hi. - Hey.
This funeral is better than fashion week.
I know. Marcus is saving us seats next to Hugh Jackman.
I'll see you in there.

- I didn't know Lexi had so many friends. - She wasn't always so tragic.
- Remember the 80s? - She was the 'it' girl.
I thought I was the 'it' girl.
Well, it's your word against a dead girl. So you win.
You guys, we're suppose to be in mourning.
- We are. It's the end of an era. - Yep. The party's officially over.

Ladies, if you are single in New York, after a certain point,
there is nowhere to go but down.
18 stories down to be exact.

- I'm going to Paris. - That's so exciting.
Good for you.
Because you're afraid of going out a window?
No. Because I wanna open a new one.
- What about your job? - I quit.
- What? When did you.. - Stop.
We are done with the question portion of the program.
I'm happy. I'm going.

Now let's go say goodbye to Lexi.

Well, it really is the end of an era.

After the funeral, a couple of friends walked a couple of blocks.

- You wanna get something to eat? - I'm not hungry but I'll go sit with you.
- Okay. Isn't Gordan's around here? - It's two blocks.

I can't believe you quit your job.

Couldn't you write the column there?
No. They weren't really into my American girl in Paris angle.
New York paper, New York girl. Got to be such a hassle so.

Are they gonna have someone new writing?
Don't know. Probably some 29 year old single girl with all new problems.

- I think you're making a mistake. - Miranda, please.
Carrie, you can't quit your column. It's who you are.
No, it's not who I am, it's what I do.
That' s my column.

- I think I'm gonna go home. - What? I'm not allowed to have an opinion?
You have an opinion. You've had it for quite some time.
What are you gonna do over there without your job? Eat croissant?

Why can't you be happy for me?
I'm sorry but...
I don't understand why you have to move away and give up your life.
- You moved to Brooklyn. - That's just Brooklyn.
I cannot stay in New York and be single for you.
- What? - This is about you.
As long as I'm here, in the same place, writing my column
- then nothing has really changed. - No, This is about you.
No, you moved on, Charlotte's moved on. Even Samantha's moved on.
I can stay here and write about my life or I can go with him and live my life.
You mean his life.

Carrie I love you, come on.

- Just say it. You don't like him. - Fine, I don't like him.
Then don't you go to Paris with him.
You're living in a fantasy.

Maybe I was living in a fantasy.
But I found a man who could make it a reality.
And I wasn't gonna question any of it.
Not even how he found a horse drawn sleigh in the middle of Manhattan.



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