412. Just Say Yes
New York welcomes and shelters the tired, the poor, the persecuted who have been forced to leave their homes at the whim of a ruling class. Therefore, it's ironic that all Manhattanites face the same horrible uncertainty, knowing that any day they may have to utter the tragic words.
- My building's going co-op. - Did you get the tomatoes?
My building's going co-op. I have to move, this is a nightmare.
Why don't you just buy the place?
- Yeah, ok, sure. That's a great idea. - Why not?
Aidan, I just charged tomatoes. I really don't think I'm in a position to buy an apartment.
- You are? - Yeah.
I had no idea. You have a girlfriend, moneybags?
Afraid so, and she's sexy and I like it.
- Figures. - Seriously. You wanna talk about this?
You're not buying my apartment for me.
Not for you, for us. I could sell my place and buy this place and that place next door. We could tear down that wall. We could live together.
- So then are you .Would that make you my landlord or my roommate? - Little of both.
- What would the rent be like? - Like this?
- Does that include utilities? - No. Think about it.
I have to admit, I was tempted by his offer. We were spending almost every night together already and we were in love and moving is such a pain in the ass. And so were the hormone injections Charlotte was facing nightly.
I don't approve of this, Charlotte. You've got more hormones in you than a teenage boy.
- This is what we have to do now. - We ought to try to have a baby the old-fashioned way.
- Why don't we sit around and wait for a stork? - The doctor said there's still a chance.
- A very, very slim chance. - That's good news.
If you had a patient who had a very slim chance of living, would that be good news? Would you tell the family, ''Buck up, he's got a shot in hell''?
That's why we have to move on to in vitro. It took Peggy Woodruff seven years to conceive.
Who's Peggy Woodruff?
A woman I met in the elevator. A lot of couples have trouble conceiving, and they get through it.
In our building, there are six couples who have been through in vitro.
What did you do? Put up a flyer in the lobby ''We're barren, how about you?''
We're not barren. We're reproductively challenged.
And Peggy invited us over on Friday night to hear all about their experiences. Isn't that nice?
As tempting as that sounds we have the Scottish Society Highland Fling Friday night.
Do we have to fling?
Yes, it's a family tradition. First comes spring, then comes fling. We go every year.
Ok, but when are we gonna talk to the Woodruffs?
I don't wanna talk to the Woodruffs. I'm a doctor. I'm familiar with in vitro. It’s a very invasive procedure. The success rate is extremely low, and it can take years.
I know, honey, so, just in case, I put us on the list for a Mandarin baby.
As Charlotte's plan for parenthood progressed with or without Trey, I began to wonder if Aidan's plan was progressing without me. He never officially moved in, but his stuff was everywhere.
It's not unusual to be loved by anyone. It's not unusual to be loved by anyone. When I see you hanging around with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cryin'.
- You're getting engaged! - I threw up. I saw the ring and I threw up. That's not normal.
- That's my reaction to marriage. - What do you think you'll do if he asks?
- I don't know. - Just say yes!
- It hasn't been long enough. Has it? - Trey and I got engaged after only a month.
How long before you separated?
We're together now, and that's what matters. When it's right, you just know.
- Carrie doesn't know. - Carrie threw up.
So, it might not be right.
Maybe this is all happening because my building is going co-op. Is this a real estate merger? Am I a real estate bride?
If there were unlimited apartments in Manhattan, we'd all be single forever.
- What did the ring look like? - That's the other thing. The ring was not good.
- What do you mean? - It was a pear shaped diamond with a gold band.
- No wonder you threw up. - It’s just not me.
- You wear gold jewelry. - Yeah, like ghetto gold, for fun. But this is my engagement ring.
- I helped pick the ring. - You knew about this?
Aidan wanted a female perspective. P.S., I was a pregnant woman shopping for a ring with a man who's not the baby's father. It’s not exactly my dream scenario.
At least you're pregnant!
Will you yell at me every time I mention it? Because we've got another seven months to go.
I'll just say ''I'm not ready to get engaged yet, but I love you and I wanna live with you.'' How does that sound?
Like a ''no.''
It’s a ''yes'' to living together. That's a big deal, a first for me. Don't I get some credit for that?
Try to be nice because down the road you might wanna marry him.
I'm gonna have to act surprised. I wonder when it's gonna happen. You know when He'll do it?
No. You're on your own. I am no longer involved.
Now you're not involved. Now that I'm stuck with the bad ring. See, that's a nice ring. He should have known that ring wasn't me. How can I marry a guy who doesn't know which ring is me?
Exactly, honey. Wrong ring, wrong guy.
Is it true what Charlotte said? Does anybody really know when it's right? And how do you know? Are there signs? Fireworks? Is it right when it feels comfortable or is comfortable a sign that there aren't any fireworks? Is hesitation a sign that it's not right or is it just a sign that you're not ready?
In matters of love, how do you know when it's right?
Downtown, Samantha was meeting with Mr. Wright, Mr. Richard Wright, that is. The hotel magnate slash megaclient who was fast becoming the pain in her ass.
You're 7 minutes late.
It took me 15 minutes to get through your labyrinth of a lobby.
Where's my London hotel? Bobby De Niro spends the weekend at Blakes and I get knocked off the page. That little fucker has stayed at my place! We gave him the fucking penthouse suite!
Now, did you ask somebody what happened or did you just spend the morning accessorizing?
I talked to the travel editor. I pulled two of our ads. It won't happen again. I also got a full-page feature on the Barcelona property out of it.
- May I sit down now? - What the hell? What's with you, female trouble?
- Let's just talk business, shall we? - Come on, you can tell me, I'm human.
- All evidence to the contrary. - I love that you're not scared of me.
- My best friend might be getting engaged. - She didn't ask you to be a bridesmaid?
It's just, why does everyone have to get married and have kids? It’s so cliché.
You're preaching to the converted. I like to sleep around, whisk somebody off to Rio if the mood strikes me. It’s the perfect nine hour flight. Dinner on the jet, wake up in Brazil and spend the weekend in my little five star hotel. Who needs a wife when you have a life?
That's all I'm saying.
Meanwhile, Miranda had been waiting for the right place and the right way to tell Steve about the baby.
- You want sprinkles? - Steve, I'm pregnant.
Instead she settled for right now.
- You're what? - I'm pregnant. And it's yours.
That'll be $6.
- You sure? - I've only had one shot in the last few months and it was you.
- I'm the only guy you've had sex with? - It’s been a slow summer.
Ok, we're done here.
- I guess it's good to know that my one Ball is still working. So, what now? - I'm gonna have it.
No way! When we were together, I wanted to have a baby, you said you weren't ready.
I'm still not ready, but when am I ever gonna be ready?
Man, I just went into so much debt opening my bar. I'm thinking maybe I should sell it.
No. You don't have to do anything. I'll take care of the baby and support it and you can visit whenever you want, but it's not gonna be your problem. It’s my decision, and it's just something I want to do for me.
- Then why did you wanna talk to me about it? - I just thought you should know.
Later that week, I decided to head Aidan off at the pass by taking him out to dinner and accepting his proposal.
So, yes. I say yes to living together. I think that we're ready for that step. We still have to work out the money 'cause I don't want a free ride. We're still individuals. But We'll be sharing a life and an apartment. Yes, Aidan I would love to live with you.
That makes me really happy because there's something else I wanna ask you.
- Would you Excuse me for a minute? - Sure, are you ok?
I'm just gonna go to the bathroom… God, what are you doing?
- Are you talking to me? - No. No, I wasn't. I'm sorry.
- Did you want dessert? - No. I would say no to desserts.
All right, then. Listen, Carrie. I know that you wanted to pay, but let me get this because your rent's about to skyrocket. Give me a little something. Yeah.
You're learning Chinese?
Just in case. I wanna be able to speak to the baby.
Wouldn't we teach the baby to speak?
Sometimes you get a slightly older child. And anyhow, we ought to really try to understand her heritage.
So, it's a Mandarin girl now, is it?
It's mostly little unwanted girls. But the good news is, since we're both dark-haired, people won't immediately know that she's not ours. I hope you remembered to pick up your kilt at the drycleaner.
You know I really don't feel like going to the fling tonight.
We have to go, it's a family tradition. We are not gonna behave like your typical barren couple!
We can't let this get us down! We have to live! Plus, I had a plaid dress made.
Maybe we should look at cutting back on your fertility drugs. Just a thought.
Taxi! What, come on, buddy, you've got nobody in there.
- Lady! Need a ride? - Is this the city's solution to the cab shortage?
- Just a happy coincidence. - Admit it, you drive around looking for me, don't you?
- Don't flatter yourself, you're on my turf. - You've got the good shops.
Get in, we're holding up traffic. Going home?
Yeah. Are you seriously giving me a ride? Is it on your way?
- Nope. Raoul, East 73rd Street. - Right away. - Thank you.
Raoul and I do this all day. Picking the ladies up, dropping them off. How've you been?
- Good, you? - Very good.
- Then I've been very, very good. - It’s not a contest.
- All right, then I take back one ''very.'' - How are things with country Bob?
- You know his name now. - Aidan.
- Things are very good there, too. - What was that?
- What? - That smile?
- I don't think you want to know. - I bet I can handle it.
- Are you sure? - What the hell?
- I think he wants to marry me. - You think, or you know?
- I know, actually. - And you've discussed it?
- No, l… it's just the kind of thing you know. - Not gonna happen.
- Let's not talk about it. - He's not the guy for you.
He might be the guy for me. I'm just not ready yet.
You're never gonna be ready, baby. You're not the marrying kind.
- And you, I guess, are? So, what does that tell us? - Nobody knows shit?
- Yeah. In any case, I'm not taking relationship advice, from you. - I just offered you a ride.
- Hello? - Spy girl. Did you tell Aidan I didn't like the ring? Did you tell him not to propose?
- I'm out of this now. - Did he change his mind? Why hasn't he asked me yet?
You're not saying yes. What's your hurry?
I just think it's weird, he has the ring. What if he realized I'm not the one?
- You're not sure he's the one. - But he doesn't know that, unless you told him.
- Hang on a second. - What happened, did someone propose to you?
I don't know why they call it morning sickness when it's all fucking day long. Unless it's MOURN as in ''mourning'' the loss of your single life.
Apparently, we've reached the stage where our lives are making us sick. Man.
- I'm sore from the shots! - Sorry.
The New York Scottish Society's Annual Highland Fling. Any Scot who was anyone was there, including, of course, Bunny MacDougal.
I was wondering when you'd be arriving. You missed dinner and the dancers.
- Shoot! Sorry, Mother, my fault. Long day at work. How are you? - Hello, Bunny.
Hello, my dear, don't you look festive! Trey, you must join your brothers. They're out there making complete fools of themselves.
- Do you know that dance? - Unfortunately, I do. Excuse me.
It’s the Highland fling, dear. It’s what this event was named after.
For something called a fling, it looks like a lot of work.
That's what I used to tell Trey about you. Come. They say this dance was originally danced on the shield of a clansman. Do you know anything about clans?
I know this is the MacDougal clan's tartan.
Yes. MacDougal is one of the oldest Highland clans in existence. We have a very proud lineage, one I hope you and Trey will be able to perpetuate. Now, I know some things can't be helped, but I must tell you right now I don't enjoy Mandarin food and I don't enjoy a Mandarin child.
I don't think that's any of your business.
But it is my business. The MacDougal name will be carried on by sons of your own, not daughters of the South Pacific. Would you care for some shortbread?
No. If we want a Mandarin baby, we can have a Mandarin baby. Nobody else needs to be involved!
Then let's not involve the entire Scottish population of New York City, shall we?
I'm serious. I'm doing all the work! I'm getting the hormone shots, I’m taking the pills, I'm doing the research, I'm in the chat room with the other reproductively challenged women and I'm learning Mandarin. All you have to do is jerk off into a plastic cup!
Charlotte, get a hold of yourself.
You get a hold of yourself! And try to keep your mother out of it!
Meanwhile, Samantha's professional relationship really started to take off.
- I would have taken it off. - I'll buy you a new one.
Excuse me. We're about to take off, we need you to buckle your seat belts.
- Thanks, Dwight. - Sure, Dwight. Is this a good idea? You are my boss.
- Yes, and I definitely need you to see my property in Brazil. - This is on the clock then?
No, but, out of curiosity, what do you charge for this sort of thing?
Believe me. You couldn't afford it.
- I'm a very rich man. - I'm a very talented woman.
I need you to give me my shot.
For the love of God, do we have to do that tonight?
We have to do it every night if we want to continue the MacDougal clan.
I said I was sorry. What else do you expect from me?
I don't understand why you talked to Bunny. Why don't you talk to me?
Because I don't know how to tell you I'm exhausted. How much work is a marriage supposed to be?
This is just a tough phase. Once we have a baby…
- That could take years. I'm 43. When does it get easy? - This is what a relationship is.
No. No, this is what our relationship is. I didn’t see anyone else getting screamed at on the dance floor.
I'm sorry, it's the hormones.
- Then stop taking the hormones. - I can't.
I can't keep doing what we're doing. I love you, but I don't know if I'm cut out for this.
What are you saying?
I don't think I wanna have a baby anymore. I don't have the energy. I work hard, and I like to play golf. I just want to be for a while.
So, you don't even want to try?
I don't. I don't wanna try. If it's the right thing, then it'll happen. If it's not, then it won't.
But we've been planning all along to have a family.
You and I will have to be enough. I mean, I think I could be happy with just the two of us. I'm not sure you can, though.
I'm gonna get some juice.
- Charlotte, are you all right? - I don't know.
Sometimes, the question is, how do you know when it's not right?
- See, isn't this nice? - It was nice being in the bed.
- When Pete has to go, Pete has to go. - Ok, but why do I have to go?
Keep your old man company. Make sure some hottie doesn't come along with a little pooch and steal him away.
Pete would never leave me. Pete loves me so.
He does, don't you, Pete? Come here. Pete loves you. Don't you love her? I love her, too. Do you have a baggie? I didn't bring a baggie.
This just gets better and better.
Here, hold this, would you? Go ahead, open it.
My God, it's not… God. That's such a beautiful ring.
- Really? - Yeah.
I had a different one, then I changed my mind. This one seemed more like you. I love you, Carrie. There's no one I could love more. I wanna live my life with you. What do you think?
Maybe there are no right moments, right guys, right answers. Maybe you just have to say what's in your heart.
- Yes. - Gimme. Ok.
That night I surprised myself.
- Who is it? - It’s me!
And Miranda was getting a surprise as well.
- What, are you fucking crazy? - That's your answer?
- Why are you proposing? - I thought that's what you wanted.
- I don't want to marry you, Steve. - I don't want to marry you either.
Then what are we doing?
There's gonna be a baby. And I just… I don't wanna just be a guy who sees you at the playground. I wanna help.
That doesn't mean we have to get married. You're not in love with me, right?
No, especially not right now.
You need to say that every day, because when you see me with this baby, you're gonna think we belong together, you’re gonna think you're in love with me.
I don't know, I've seen you with my dog, and mostly you just seem uncomfortable. How are we gonna do this? Raise a kid together and not be together?
- We'll figure it out. - We'll figure it out.
Miranda knew Steve wasn't right for her, but she wanted to do what was right for her baby.
By the way, I know that's a hand-me-down ring. I would never say yes to a hand-me-down ring.
- You picked out this ring! - For Carrie!
- Fine, frankly, I can't afford a stupid ring and a baby. - See, this is working out already.
There was one person I needed to tell that surprisingly I was the marrying kind.
- Thank God you're here. - I have something to tell you.
- Aidan left you? - I'm engaged.
Fuck you. Let's have a drink and celebrate. Two Rubies, please.
- He switched the ring on me. - The bastard.
- And look, it's a really good ring. - I've seen it.
- What? - Somebody had to help the poor guy.
So, now you want me to get married?
No, but if you're gonna ruin our lives, I'd at least like to look at a nice piece of jewelry.
- Thank you. - Two Rubies.
- Are you tan, lady? - I was in Rio with Richard.
Rio with the CEO? A mistake.