Dear visitors,

For better browsing experience on our site, we recommend using Brave browser, a fast, free, ad-blocking, open-source web browser.

In addition, Brave's giveaway program grants Brave users approximately 5 USD worth of promotional BAT tokens to reward their favorite websites.

Please "pin" our site in your Brave Payments panel, and reward us with your FREE tokens if you'd like to show your support.

Thank you!

Sex and the City Quotes: Season 5


Charlotte: I read it in a magazine.
Miranda: What magazine? Convenient Theories For You Monthly?

Carrie: It's over for me. Here lies Carrie. She had two loves and lots 'o' shoes.

Samantha: Ladies! Seamen, twelve o'clock!
Miranda: I pray when I turn around there are sailors, because with her, you never know.

Samantha: I can't even be around that man. He's dangerous and toxic.
Carrie: So he's manthrax?

Anthony: When's the last time you had sex?
(Charlotte pauses to think.)
Anthony: If you had to think about it it's been too long.
Charlotte: Well, when's the last time—
Anthony: 10:30 today at the gym!

(Samantha is posting signs about Richard on a street pole.)
Female police officer: Ma'am, it's against city law to deface public property.
Samantha: This man said he loved me and I caught him eating another woman's pussy.
Female police officer: Carry on, ma'am.

Sailor: Evenin', ma'am.
Samantha: Ahoy matey! Nice dickey!



Samantha: I'll tell you how to babyproof. Use a condom!

Miranda: He got scared? ... When I get scared, I hide under the covers, not between somebody's legs.

Samantha: My friends don't believe you.
Richard: Am I dating your friends?
Samantha: With your track record I wouldn't put it past you.

Miranda: He has to get baptized and wear a dress.
Carrie: Baby's first drag show!

Carrie: So you're a pessimist, right?
Miranda: Have we met?

Carrie: Men who are good looking are never good in bed because they never had to be.



Carrie: People go to casinos for the same reason they go on blind dates: hoping to hit the jackpot. But mostly, you just wind up broke or alone in a bar.

Miranda: Why do we get stuck with old maid and spinster and men get to be bachelors and playboys?

Miranda: Today's the babynurse's last day. From now on you'll have to book me a year in advance.
Carrie: Wow, you're like Nobu.

Miranda: I am so excited! I have been dreaming of being alone with these for months.
Carrie: I love that The New Yorker is your porn.

Samantha: No wonder the house always wins. These guys are smothered in breasts. I don't know what I was thinking bringing a cheating man to Atlantic Titty!



Courtney, showing Carrie her book cover: Let me talk you through it. Blurred background, aah, faced paced city. And you, naked with nothing but your ideas.
Carrie: I get it. But, see, no matter how fast paced the city, I always manage to get my clothes on before I leave the apartment.

Charlotte: What kind of diet book are you looking for?
Miranda: I don't know. Something with a title like How to Lose That Baby Fat by Sitting On Your Ass.

Stanford: His name is Marcus.
Carrie: And is he a Roman?
Stanford: No, he is not.
Carrie: Aww, too bad. I always adore a metal breastplate on a man.

Stanford: Before I tell you, you have to promise not to judge.
Carrie: Do I judge?
Stanford: We all judge. That's our hobby. Some people do arts and crafts; we judge.

Stanford, about to enter a women's dressing area: Knock knock! Nothing in here I haven't seen and ruled out in junior high!

Samantha: I will not be judged by you or society. I will wear whatever—and blow whomever—I want as long as I can breathe and kneel!



Charlotte: He should've mentioned her earlier.
Samantha: But not too early. I hate it when men do that. "I have a girlfriend." Calm down, I just asked if that seat was taken!

Miranda: I didn't tell Walker I had a baby.
Charlotte: How could you not mention it?
Miranda: It didn't come up! If Walker had asked me directly, "have you given birth recently," I would've said... first of all, define "recently."

Enid: That's the key to having it all: stop expecting it to look like what you thought it was going to look like. It's true of the fall lines, and it's true of relationships.

Stanford: I don't want to seem like a nobody now that I have a somebody.
Carrie: Oh, so it's okay to be a nobody when you have nobody?
Stanford: Well, apparently you're nobody until somebody loves you.



Miranda: No, he's not sick. He's not hungry, he's not teething, he just wants to scream. I'm doing everything I can but I can't please him. If he was 35 this is when we would break up.

Miranda: This thirteen pound meatloaf is pushing me over the edge!

Carrie: Damn! Why is that girl still bothring me?
Samantha: Honey, you have to let it go. If I worried what every bitch in New York was saying about me, I'd never leave the house.

Samantha, critiquing "neck massagers" at the Sharper Image: That one actually works against you. If we wanted to work that hard, we'd get us a man, am I right?

(Samantha arrives at Miranda's house and offers to babysit.)
Miranda: I can't believe it!
Samantha: Neither can I, but here I am—Mary fuckin' Poppins.



Miranda: How long have you two known each other?
Bobby: Oh, let's put it this way. Cats was just Kittens.

Samantha: All married couples stop having sex eventually.
Miranda: That's not true, you've had sex with plenty of married people.
Samantha: That's how I know!

Carrie: Why did she need to tell me the sex was amazing?
Samantha: Because it is amazing. She's amazed he's able to get it hard without another penis in the room.

Harry: Charlotte, I have to marry a Jew.
Charlotte: She can marry a gay guy and you can't marry an Episcopalian?


Back to Top