616. Out of the Frying Pan
When you're dating someone new, everything can seem foreign.
Especially when you're dating someone foreign.
My Russian had been taking me around the world.
Greece in Astoria, Italy in the Bronx.
Tonight, it was Korea; on W.32nd St.
Wow. You look..
Why thank you. So.
Where to tonight?
Very, very exotic place.
Well just so you know,
I'm fully vaccinated.
So, should we get a cab?
I've not been to this mysterious place before.
But I believe we can walk.
I'm intrigued. Continue.
Turn around. We're going to your place.
Art smart. The man can cook.
Have never made the risotto in frying pan before.
I'm sorry. I don't use my kitchen.
And I don't usually make my guests sit on the floor next to my stack of Vogues,
which I ordinarily hide in the tub for company.
And the walls..
I love your house. It's so you.
Small and artless?
No. Warm and lovely.
Are you okay?
My foot sleeps.
Now we'll have espresso?
I don't have an espresso machine.
And you call yourself a writer, yeah?
Well. I may have an old Mr. Coffee One Cup but,
don't hold your breath. Oh my god.
Okay. We go out.
Oh that mouse is dead. Wow.
It was a rodent.
You don't want this in your house.
Well maybe he was just crossing through to get to the much nicer apartment next door.
You call this denial.
Where there's one, there will be more.
Yeah, we're going out.
At least it didn't happen in a room I actually used like my closet.
Good humor me.
The next morning, we were determined to use our good humors
to make Samantha's kemo lounge as close as possible to a cocktail lounge.
Look at Miranda working Mr. Grape there.
Steve is one lucky guy.
Well you guys are having a good time.
You bet. Cancer is hilarious.
Are all you as fun as Samantha?
I'm her favorite patient.
- Any mouth sour sweetie? - No.
Great. Just keep up the Popsicles.
Samantha I have to say, you are amazing.
I am. And if you love me in kemo,
wait till you see me at Smith's movie premiere.
I'm getting a hot dress, fantastic shoes.
I'm going to kick cancer and that red carpet's ass.
It's not at all what I expected.
They have these barker loungers and videos and Popsicles.
You throw in Shuffle Board, it'd be a vacation in Miami.
Ah, here they are.
Later, the Russian took me somewhere else I've never been before.
The Kitchen Supplies Department.
She doesn't even look sick.
But she is sick, yes?
Well, she was. But she's gonna be fine.
Had a friend who had breast cancer.
I think this one is you.
From Kitchen supplies to a kitchen surprise.
Oh, hi Dr. Steiner.
None of them?
Sure. I understand.
Thanks for calling on a Saturday. Bye.
None of my eggs were viable.
What do you want to do?
Try the? again.
Sure? We've already tried it twice.
Yeah. I'm sure. It'll work.
I mean, it has to.
Yeah. I'm gonna go for a run.
In high school, Charlotte was voted most popular,
head of the track team and class president.
She had won everything.
Except the baby race.
Meanwhile, across town a couple who had won the baby race,
had lost their bedroom to their baby.
Wait, we saw this one. Charming,
Why don't they say what it really is?
Crack house on a airshaft.
Scout, off! Off!
Hey. Listen to this one.
In our price range, three-bedroom.
I'm putting my shoes on.
- Outdoor space. - I'm getting my bag.
- Finished basement. - It's a house.
- In Brooklyn. - Okay, shoes are off.
What did I tell you about that side of the paper?
What, it's a good place.
Steve, we're not moving to Brooklyn.
I'm a Manhattan girl.
I don't like anything not Manhattan.
Hey, I'm Queens and I'm pretty cute.
Let's just look at it.
Sleeping in the dining room isn't so bad.
We're near the kitchen.
Did you let Fatty out of the laundry room?
We don't even need this.
We can hear Brady through the wall.
Miranda, we can't keep living like this.
Fine. I'll look at it.
- What? - That is some strong coffee.
Oh. Well. No wonder you work all night.
That's the way I like it.
I'm gonna need a little milk in this.
Then it's not espresso.
Milk will ruin it. Keep sipping it.
- I need to talk to you about something. - Yes.
You know the other day when I was talking about my friend?
One with cancer?
Her name is Samantha.
I just felt like you weren't being very sensitive about my feelings.
I mentioned her and your first response was to tell me about your friend.
Who died. Yeah.
Yes. See, exactly.
I'm sorry about your friend.
But my friend is going to be fine.
And my friend died.
See? You're doing it again.
Not everyone dies.
Then they're lucky.
Okay. Maybe I'm not being very clear.
Oh, you're being clear.
You don't want your friend to die.
Please. Stop saying die.
But to be realistic,
you must acknowledge this possibility, yes?
No. They caught it early at Stage 1
and she's having the Cadillac of kemo.
No, she is going to be fine.
And your scaring me isn't helping.
All I'm saying when my friend died,
Okay I don't know why but.. you are not listening to me.
You're not listeing to me.
Are you kidding? All I've said is... please don't talk about your friend who died.
Her name was Sophie.
What are you talking about? We're having espresso.
No, we're not espresso.
We are not listening.
Sit down, finish your coffee. It's hot.
you know, I asked you not to mention your friend.
And now all I can think about is your friend
and my friend has nothing to do with your friend
Think you're acting like a child.
And I think you're acting like an asshole.
Maybe you should go for now.
I'm already going.
It was my first fight with the Russian
and I didn't know if it was the strong espresso
or the strong words but either way,
not even my feet slept that night.
Oh my goodness.
Look at you and your little coat.
Did you go shopping?
Princess Dandy Rich Brandy Wine. Come!
Oh, I got her.
Oh my goodness, so cute.
- Thank you. - That's a mighty name for such a little dog.
It's a dog show name.
Oh my god, I love dog shows.
- Has she ever won? - This one? Two-time loser.
She doesn't show anymore.
She was bred from two champion Cavalier King Charles Spaniels
but when I tried to show her, it turns out she has a defect.
One of her hind legs is too short.
Such a shame. She had so much promise.
She just isn't a winner.
Well. She's awfully cute anyway.
I'm Charlotte York Goldenblatt.
Trudy Stork. All right. Come on. That's enough.
- Okay. Well, nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you. Bye-bye.
That was the day a King Charles met an Upper East Side princess.
And an upper east-sider went to see a house in Brooklyn.
I don't go to Brooklyn.
Yeah, neither do I.
Miranda tried to see her future in Brooklyn,
but she just couldn't get there.
Oh yeah. Shitty.
Oh god you're good.
What? Oh Jesus.
What do I¡¦
Just give it to me.
That's a lot of hair. Does that hurt?
No, I'm fine. Really. So.
Where were we?
- oh. - I'm sorry.
I'm gonna take a bath.
Apparently, Samantha wasn't the only one losing something that night.
Samantha's not gonna die, right?
Of course not. She'll be fine.
Her hair started falling out at a really bad time.
Oh god. Was she at work?
No. But she was definitely doing a job.
Oh yes. Ma'am.
She's a trooper. She'll be fine.
Yeah I know.
But according to my Russian friend, we're all in denial.
What? What goes he say?
Well, it went like this.
Him: your friend might die, yes?
Me: No. You're all asshole.
We had our first fight.
I picked up on that.
This is a man who is so sensitive about so much but then this death,
deal with it.
I know he's Russian, but Jesus, come on.
Maybe it's the language barrier.
It's definitely a barrier for me.
Is this who I'm seeing? A man kills mice and optimism?
It's not denial. They got it early.
She's gonna be fine.
You are aware that you've said she'll be fine three times in half a block.
Yeah. I just picked up on that, too.
In any way, how's it helping her if we freak out about it?
It is our job to think positive.
Can you believe we're actually having this conversation?
No. And here's another thing I've never thought I'd be saying.
Steve wants us to move to Brooklyn.
Okay. Stop. Now,
that is information I can't handle.
I know. I can't move to Brooklyn.
Even cabs won't go there.
My conversation with Miranda brought me back to reality.
Or more specifically,
the people who want us to live in it.
The world tells us to get real.
But what happens when living in reality means living in pain, fear, or Brooklyn.
If the defense mechanism can get us through the difficult times,
how bad can it be?
Maybe the reality is we need denial.
Denial: friend or foe?
Denial had become Charlotte's best friend,
next to Harry.
Going for a run?
- What are you looking at? - Doing some research.
- On what? - Adoption.
It could be just a backup.
You know? If we put ourselves on some lists.
By the time we know what's what,
we'll have some choices.
What do you think?
That seems like the right thing to do.
- Hi. Trudy. - Hi.
Hi Dandy Rich. Hi.
I brought you a present.
It's turkey bacon. Is that all right?
Oh sure. She's not a show dog.
Do you like that?
Well she really loves you.
Who wouldn't love her.
Look at that face.
You know. Just because somebody doesn't perform the way that you want them to,
doesn't mean you should just give up on them.
Oh I'm sorry. I swore I wouldn't cry.
I'm trying to have a baby and it's just not going very well.
That day, thanks to a dog with one short leg,
Charlotte stopped denying her short comings.
I don't care for babies. Or labs.
Thanks for coming.
Are you kidding me? This is gonna be fun.
I used to do this when I was 16 at the mall.
Without the cancer part.
I have a movie premiere and I need to look like myself at my most fabulous.
What would you like, natural hair or acrylic?
Sweetheart, does it look like I'd do acrylic?
These are our best natural hair.
Sassy and pretty-me.
No and no.
Fine. Let's try this.
It's from the Riding the Greek Mine.
This looks like you?
Carrie, how do I look?
You look like Florence Henderson.
Florence Henderson in a bad wig.
Listen, I can't be on the red carpet in a bad rug.
Do you understand?
This is Candy. She's very popular.
I don't think you're listening.
I don't wanna look like Candy.
I just wanna look like myself.
Ma'am. These are wigs.
They're not ever gonna look exactly like you.
That is not acceptable.
We could style the bang.
Don't touch my head.
I've worked with many women with cancer.
I don't have cancer. I have a premiere.
And I don't want some second rate wig named after a hooker.
My hair is my thing.
This is bullshit.
I'm just so angry.
The Kemo I can handle. But this hair thing. It's too much.
Sweetie, we'll find you a better wig. I have left hair all over Manhattan.
Every time the wind blows, I have to check to make sure I'm not bald.
It's only temporary. It'll grow back.
Until then, I have to look like a sick person and I don't do sick person.
Because you're not.
You're someone had a little blip of bad luck and now it's over.
What if it's not over?
It's over. So over.
What if it comes back?
I can die Carrie.
With really bad hair.
Hey, you are not going anywhere.
Carrie, please. Let me talk about what I'm afraid of. Please?
The denial part of me wanted to say you'll be fine.
Instead I said.
Okay. I'm here.
Maybe I should just shave it all off.
Yeah. You could be one of those fantastic bald women who's all about earrings.
I better not look like fucking Co-jack.
Cancer. Turns out, not so hilarious.
After Samantha lost control, she did the only thing she knew to get it back.
What are you doing here?
I got your blackberry message.
What do you mean you're not coming to my premiere?
I'm very busy.
I'm shaving my head, all right?
And it's scary and awful and you can't handle it.
Who says I can't handle it?
You freaked out after just a few little hairs.
- You freaked out too. - You lost your heart on.
Let me be here for you.
Listen, this is very intense and you're being very sweet
but there is no way that you can relate to what I'm going through.
What are you doing?
No you can't. Your hair's your thing.
Chill out, I'm busy.
When I'm done cue balling here,
I'm moving right over to you.
That night, Smith gave Samantha the very best head of her life.
The next day, Miranda endured her first out of Borough experience.
You mean.. Brooklyn, Brooklyn. Here.
Let me show you what we could do.
We tear out these closets, we make this the dining room.
Which you wouldn't have to sleep in.
open up this fireplace, imagine all of our friends over here,
fire's going on, having some beers.
None of our friends are coming to Brooklyn but continue.
This isn't just about you anymore.
Brady's only gonna get bigger, god willing.
Look at all this space.
You want the all of us. You, me, Brady, Scout, Fatty.
To really look at this place,
we're a family.
Oh my god. I'm married.
And that was the reality.
I'm gonna take Brady and the dog outside.
You let me know hat you think.
Come on let's go out back. Yeah.
Let's chase the dog.
Let's chase the dog around.
That day, Miranda couldn't deny what was best for her family.
So, what do you think?
We're very interested but I'll gonna wanna bring in an engineer.
I'll require a long escrow, and if the furnace isn't up to code,
we'll need it replaced.
And so, she negotiated her way into her future.
And Samantha realized she couldn't deny cancer.
She may never be exactly who she was again.
So for that night, she decided to be Lil' Kim.
It was a very special delivery from Ms. Stork.
You'll give her a better home than I ever could Trudy Stork
Oh my goodness. Thank you. Hi.
It was a girl. 8 pounds 2 ounces.
Oh my goodness.
Hello, are you hungry, precious?
Who is that?
She's a present. Can we keep her?
Anything that makes you smile like that.
I'd be crazy not to. What's her name?
Princess Dandy Rich Brandy Wine.
Oh that's impossible. You gotta change it.
What should we name you pretty girl?
Who's the prettiest girl in the world.
Elizabeth Taylor Goldenblatt.
That was the day Elizabeth Taylor moved in with Harry and Charlotte.
And something far less glamorous moved in with me.
You'll stay at the fancy neighbors' now huh?
I didn't think I would hear from you.
I was upset.
you know, I need you to not talk so that I can say this without you confusing me.
Samantha is my friend.
She's my family. My insides.
She will be fine because she has to be fine.
That's how important she is to me.
So, for you to say that she may not be just..
it feels very hurtful.
And really unnecessary.
Let me explain. My friend who died.
Wait. Wait. When she died,
I was surprised.
The amount of pain.
I didn't want you to be surprised like I was.
Well, you could have just said that.
We are different.
Yes we are.
I need my relationship with a little bit of milk.
It's clear who's the writer here, huh?
Your friend would be fine.
Thank you. And I'm sorry about Sophie.
That night, for the first time,
we spoke the same language.
So while Samantha's life and my life with the Russian would continue,
it was clear that Miranda's life as we knew it, was over.
Brooklyn. I can't even say it, let alone live in it.
You'll all come visit, right?
Talk about denial.
Stop. We'll all come, won't we?
Well I won't. I have cancer.
How long are you gonna play that cancer card?
As long as it takes for you to move back.
But it's just a subway ride away.
Subway that goes under water. That's not normal.
- Another Manhattan? - Please. For all of us.
That night, Miranda was determined to drink in as much Manhattan as she could.
Do you remember that awful apartment that I had on 17th street?
The one with the water box?
What about your horrifying Studio sublet in River Side Drive?
Oh I blocked it.
Man, I have had some really shitty apartments here.
Why do I think living in Manhattan is so fantastic?
Because it is.
- Here we go. - Thank you.
It'll be childish of us to deny that our lives weren't changing.
But for this night, none of us were going anywhere.
That's the thing about really good friends and a really great Manhattan.
616. Out of the Frying Pan