610. Boy, Interrupted
I didn't go to my high school reunion.
So, when my high school sweetheart called me, for a reunion,
I was curious to see if he looked like the boy I used to make out with
in front of my locker.
Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to chemistry class?
Actually, he looked better.
Oh my god.
That's my name, don't wear it out.
Wow, you look great.
I knew you look great cuz I saw you on the cover of your book.
But I have to say even better in person.
Oh god, I'm so gald you called.
I'm gonna be spending a month in Connecticut.
- So I had to look you up. - Wow.
Well, how are you? I heard that you married somebody
that you met in business school?
Yeah, I got divorced like 2 years ago.
Really miscalculated that one.
So I'm on my own again.
How about you?
Are you seeing anybody, or..
- Wide open. - How is that possible?
Well, my high school boyfriend spoiled me for life.
Me and my AMC Pacer.
Oh, the Pacer.
I put our names down for a table.
But earlier you said maybe you might have dinner plans?
- Oh. - Was that in case I turned out to be a..
But my fictional plans fell through
so I'm available.
Miranda had no plans that night.
So she was thrilled when her cute new neighbor stopped by.
- Hey. - Oh hey,
I didn't you'd be home on a Saturday night.
So, what's my excuse?
I just got Brady to sleep.
Do you sing to him?
Only if he's been bad.
Listen, I have these 2 courtside seats for Knicks charity game
at the Garden next Friday night.
Would you want to go?
- I would love to. - Great.
Great, I'll look for you there.
Thanks, so much.
Miranda wsn't sure if it was acharity game or just charity.
Hey, I didn't even ask what you were doing in Connecticut.
Well, for a change.
I spent the last decade working my ass off in Denver.
So I decided to take a month off,
spend some time with sea level.
So I've just been relaxing in the country,
sorting through some things, you know.
Yeah, sometimes you need to get away.
Sometimes you wonder why you stayed away so long.
this is my place.
It's a nice place.
Yeah, I love it here.
I feel like I want to kiss you,
but I don't know what..
I know, it's very unclear.
Yeah, I mean this isn't our first date.
We've already dated.
- And we've kissed. - Many times.
We're in a lip lock for the most of 1982.
what's one more kiss.
Uh oh, you mean business.
It's a lot better without gearshifts sticking up my ass.
It was a romantic, hot summer night.
Followed by a miserable hot summer day.
Which was the 14th hot summer day in a row.
Samantha Jones, how are you?
Great, Phoebe. How are you?
We just dropped by the SoHo house for a dip.
I mean what else can you possibly do in this heat?
Just sit by the pool and drink cocktails
where they mist you with evian.
Isn't it the best?
Oh, it's fabulous.
I'm running to a lunch, otherwise I'd be up there myself.
There's a pool a block from my apartment,
and I can't get in.
At the SoHo house.
You have to be a member and I'm on some kind of bullshit waitlist.
Don't they know who you are?
and more importantly who we are.
We need to be at the pool with you.
You know in high school,
all you had to do is jump a fence and you'd in sombody's pool.
Oh, speaking of high school,
I saw my high school sweetheart.
And I think I might like him.
Is that crazy?
No, I love this.
You can end up with your high school boyfriend.
Ok, let's not jump the gun.
But it was the best date I've had in a long time.
And I wasn't even thinking that it was a date.
Oh, when he kissed me good night.
Oh, he kissed you good night?
It was wild, because I actually
remembered what it felt like to kiss him.
Imagine if you slept with him. Talk about a homecoming.
No, we never went all the way.
Because we were kids. We wanted to wait.
And now, I think we waited long enough.
You're marrying him.
Will you stop? He doesn't even live in New York.
He lives in Denver.
It would be so romantic.
Oh tragic. Seriously,
if I had the guy in high shcool,
what have I been doing for the past 20 years?
Why did you two break up?
I broke up because I thought come on there must be better guys out there.
Turns out, there aren't.
That night, I started thinking about my retro relationship.
Since high school, most women I know have acquired much in clothes,
hair styles, and food.
But what about in men?
Maybe we were better off when we thought less and kissed more.
Have we graduated past our ability to find true love
when it comes to matters of the heart?
Did we have it right in high school?
Samantha was too cool to belong to any clubs in high school,
so she refused to believe that any club was too cool for her now.
Especially, since New York in August is not cool at all.
- May I help you? - I hope so.
I'd like to to know what's holding up my memebership.
I've been on the wait list since June.
Yes, I'm sorry, but we are not currently admitting any new members.
The pool is so fabulous,
we're at capacity every day.
Do you know who I am?
No, I don't.
We can't accomodate you right now.
Well, can I at least use the restroom before I go?
Or is there a wait list for that as well.
Down the corridor on your left, the door marked W.C.
Miss, did you leave your cardon the sink?
Yes, I did.
Thank you so much.
Since they didn't seem to know who she was at the SoHo house,
she figured shecould be Annabelle Bronstein.
The next day, Samantha tested the waters with her fake ID.
Can I get you something to drink, Ms. Bronstein?
Yes, but I'll just pay cash.
And please, call me Annabelle.
Meanwhile a fight was about to break out in the cafeteria.
But this time, Cafeteria was a trendy restaurant in Chelsea.
God, I hate him.
Come on, we're going over there.
Because you're in tank top.
- Hi. - Hi.
You were here, what a small world.
That's Chelsea for ya.
Can't swing a dick without running into someone you know.
Well, we'd love to stay and chat,
but we have to go get our tuxes for the prom.
Did you say the prom?
Yes, it's a big fundraiser at the gay, lesbian, bi, transgenders center.
I'm on the decorations committee.
What's the theme? Queer and queerer?
I have the best memories of my prom.
I was the prom queen.
Of course you were, darling.
I missed my prom in high school, because..
You were gay.
No, my girlfriend and I broke up the night before because..
You were gay.
No, I wasn't gay until..
You were born.
Good bye, Charlotte.
Those two should be going to the gay, lesbian, and the prostitute prom.
Oh, be nice.
I happen to know that Marcus used to be a gay escort.
He was not.
Oh honey, wake up and smell the KY.
I was flippinf through a vintage issueof Honcho.
I saw his ad in the rauncho section.
He called himself Paul, worst hustler name I ever heard.
He and Stanford are in love.
Yeah, well, according to honcho,
he used to be in love all over town.
You are mistaken.
There's a picture. I'll send you the ad.
I don't wanna see it.
I'm sending it, prom queen.
I wish he didn't know this.
Do you think Stanford knows?
Probably not, so maybe we shouldn't talk about it in the Madison Square Garden.
I don't think that these people know those people.
- Look at how cute he is. - He is gorgeous.
He looked at me, did you see him look at me?
He totally likes you.
Look at these seats.
These seats are too good to be casual.
Did I ever tell you I was a cheerleader?
No. Because you knew I would mock you endlessly.
Did you used to to that?
We just used some herkies and some kicks.
What is she doing?
The blond one in front?
She's flirting with your boyfriend.
He's not my boyfriend.
What? Is she like 21?
It was Friday night. It was the big day,
and Miranda was jealous of a cheerleader.
Two hours later, the game ended,
and Miranda felt like the loser.
Ok, let's just go.
No, you have to go over there and talk to him.
He's talking to her.
You are better than her.
Go on, you can do it.
Are you gonna do a herky now?
Just you go over there and flirt a little bit.
Go, go, go.
Meanwhile, I invited Jeremy to come over and watch a movie,
which in high shcool was code for come over and make out.
And happily, it still was.
Oh, I gotta run.
Last train leaves in half an hour.
I think you should stay.
I think we should go all the way.
- All the way. - We never did,
and now we can.
And your mother won't walk in with her laundry and her Tab.
But Carrie, I need to be honest with you about something.
That's the worst thing you can hear from someone you really like.
I'm not really just taking time off,
I'm sort of in a..
No, actually, that's the worst thing you can hear.
I wanted a man who would commit,
not a man who is committed.
Apparently, we have to be more specific.
But how was he able tosee you?
Ooh, did he escape?
No, he's voluntary.
He says it's not reallya mental institution,
it's a therapeutic community.
Oh, that's supposed to be a good one.
I've had clients go there.
Really?Why haven't we heard of that?
Because i'm good at my job.
No one wants to admit they're in a looney bed.
On a first date.
It's all humilliating.
Think about what we have togo through to date.
I'm 38 and I am competingwith a cheerleader.
YEah, and even when you get the guy,
you'll never know whatsome surprise might be revealed.
Let me tell you something, ladies.
In a good relationship, there are no surprises.
I know everything about Marcus,
and Marcus knows everything about me.
I don't think he knows everything.
Charlotte, like all girls, learned in early age that only way to get rid of information
you don't want to have, is to pass it on.
Oh my god.
Is this real?
Anthony found it in old issue of Honcho magazine.
Let me see that.
What is that?
Ok, hand it over.
Ok, hand it over.
Where did this come from?
Someone better tell me where this came from right now.
I'm not kidding.
I got it from Carrie.
I got it from Miranda.
- I got it from Charlotte. - I got it from Anthony,
but I told him that you and Marcus are very much in love.
Charlotte was still a cheerleader for love.
But like the Knicks, her team was havinga bad season.
you think you know somebody...
Which one of you is Annabelle Bronstein?
Well, that's impossibel.
Ms. Bronstein is in London for the week.
No, I am Annabelle Bronstein.
And she's British.
As I was saying,
I am Annabelle Bronstein.
I'm fairly certain you're not Annabelle,
I've spoken to her on the phone.
I am absolutely Annabelle Bronstein.
And I do not pay 900 American dollars annually to be treated like this.
Now, ring round the waiter and have him tally up the drinks.
What's with the accent?
She's got a case of a Madonna's.
I'm sorry but I know for a fact that Annabelle lost her card.
I thought I did.
But it was on top of the telly.
And Ms. Bronstein is from Sussex
as am I.
And I venture to guess you are not in fact from the U.K.
Well, that's true. I was raised in India(?).
On any given day, there are a lot of versions of crazy right here in New York.
Today, annabelle Bronstein had multiple personalities and at least two accents.
Where did you disappear to after the game?
Oh, I was gonna thank you,
but you were takling to that girl.
- What girl? - Some cheerleader.
- Do you like her? - No.
I like someone else.
This cheered Miranda up immediately.
Now, see, how would I know that?
Would it be any clearer,
if I did this?
Hi, Mrs. McCafrey.
I wanted you to have these.
In case I lose any more of mine, I wanna know where I can find the stash.
How are you? Do you wanna come in?
She asked with trepidation.
No. I think it's great what you're doing.
I know I probably put you through a loop the other day.
I should probably just come right out and say something about this,
but I, truth is I haven't worked out my rap(?) on it yet.
Well, it's a tough thing to slip in.
Yeah, it is. So, hi, I might be crazy,
would you like to share an appetizer?
The thing is I think I made it sound worse then it is.
You know, if you saw Juno-Spears, you'd see that it's not a cuckoo's nest.
It's more like, a Canyon Ranchfor the brain.
Do they have pilates?
They do have pilates.
I don't wanna lie to you,
I am going through some pretty heavy stuff,
soul searching, really.
Trying to figure out why somethingsseem to be harder for me
then they are for other people.
I think my family has someting to do with it.
It's always good to blame the parents, right?
So, I figured I could spend the next 5 years in therapy
or just spend the next month and really deal with it intesively right now.
It's just more efficient.
Well, you'll make a very good case.
That's what my doctor said.
That's it. Tada.
I just wanted to explain myself,
so that I didn't become known eternally as that nutcase you dated back in high school.
How about my high school boyfriend who was the best kisser ever.
I could live with that.
You're not bad yourself either, you know.
That night, we went all the day.
And we weren't the only ones.
The next afternoon, my other crazy boyfriend stopped by.
Marcus was a gay escort.
But he's been off the market since 1992.
So you talked about it?
Yes, and he says he did it just to put himself through dance classes.
But if that's true, then why keep it a secret?
Maybe he was embarrassed.
Yes, but it's not the escort thing,
but the secret thing that was bothering me.
I was the last to know.
I don't wanna hear the truth from
some bitchy queen with back issues from Honcho.
we broke up.
Oh, Stanny, really?
And right before the prom.
And I still have to go, because I'm on the decorations committtee.
And I have no date again.
Oh, when is it?
Will you please, please, please go with me?
I can't. I have to visit my boyfriend at the asylum.
Of course you do.
He wants me to see the place for myself.
It supposed to be like Canyon Ranch.
- Honey. - I know.
- But I like him. - you'd have to.
and who are we to say he's got issues,
he's getting help usually that's considered a good thing.
And it's New York, everybody's insane.
You slept with him, didn't you?
Oh, that's where the problem begins.
You sleep with someone, you start rationalizing away all the red flags.
At least he was honest about it.
Apparently, the Juno-Spears Center washarder than the SoHo house to get into.
Or out of.
Even as a visitor,
I could see how this was a very relaxing place to get away to.
It's kinda nice, huh?
There are great hiking trails all around here.
Maybe later we can do a hike.
Oh, I don't really hike.
Neither do I.
But I will fill you in something I discovered.
Hiking.. is walking.
I started to think, maybe the Juno-Spears Center
should be mandatory for New Yorkers.
Like the Hamptons or Fire Island.
I guess that doesn't happen very often in Canyon Ranch, right?
I've never been.
Who am I kidding, this is a full-on psychiatric facility.
You're definitely the sanest person here.
Well, thank you.
That's kinda like being the best house on a bad block.
People would advise against buying it.
Maybe it wasn't the wisest thing to start someting while I was still in here.
Maybe when I get out in 8 to 10 months.
8 to 10 months?
Yeah, my doctor still thinks I have a lot of work to do.
And to be honest with you, I'm comfortable here.
I kinda like it. I like that everybody's craziness is out in the open.
- Well, I loved seeing you. - I loved seeing you again.
What I understand we're just in very different places right now.
Ironically, it was the sanest breakup I ever had.
And now, the queen and queen of our prom.
Carrie Bradshaw and Stanford Blatch.
Oh my god, I love this song.
Oh, thank you very much.
This is my best prom ever.
Thank you for coming.
Oh, believe me I'm glad to be back with the normal people.
You know the craziest thing of all,
I somehow thought that after everything I've been through,
I might end up withmy high school boyfriend.
Yeah, I don't think my story's gonna get tied up like that.
Your boyfriend might get tied up.
And taken away.
Ok, no more jokes, I might be dating him in 8 to 10 months.
May I cut in?
No thank you. I already have an escort.
Honey, I didn't tell you because it was part of my past.
It's not who I am anymore.
I was really messed up back then.
But I got it together now.
And it's prom night,
and we have to have a dance.
Why don't I get some punch?
Just tell me one thing.
Did you ever, ever sleep with that little bitchy pinenut Anthony?
No, god no.
So, maybe it won't look the way you thought it'd look in high school.
But it's good to remember love is possible.
Anything is possible.
This is New York.
610. Boy, Interrupted